Yeah I Wrote This!

 

November 4th, 2008. History will be made. Not no local history, but international history with rippling effect that will change the direction of the world. America will vote for change: Donkey change or elephant type change; either way, change is the operative word. In fact, it is the core for both American political parties campaigns.

But what’s so amazing about this Amerian election is that the world is so entralled with this one. The last American election evoked star and celebrity power. Mega celebrities came forward encouraging people to vote and to support either this one or the next. Celebrities of all sects came out in droves, passionately expressing why Americans should vote this way or the other way. However, this election, both presidential candiates are celebrities in their own right, with Obama being the block buster celebrity. Some say, this is his election to lose.

America as a country is vain. They love the spotlight: the centre stage. They enjoy being big brother, the protector of the world, the knight in shining armor. They enjoy being the manipulators of change, the instigators of progress, the epitome of democracy and captialism. They enjoy being different, independent and full of themselves. Subsequently they always get the president they deserve and who they want. They did that with George Bush, in fact giving him two terms. Why? Because that was exactly what they wanted. Even though many persons may say differently. In essence, American wanted to feel secure during the last election and Bush equalled security. But this election isn’t about security. It is about change. Change for the status quo; the American people and the world by extention desire to head in a new direction.

Now we are back again. However, this election isn’t about just being president of the United States…its about being president of the world. The entire world is excited. The entire world is involved in their democratic process and what is more amazing America is embracing such. They are enjoying the world watching them. They are enjoying the world creating their own mock election process as to who they want to be president of the United States. However, in spite being flattered by the world’s interest, America hates to be dictated to; they hate to be corner, subsequently at times, they tend to veer in opposite directions in order to prove a point.

In fact, whom the world may want as president may or may not be the same as to who America wants as their president. However, the world is definately lobbying and expressing their opinions. The pressure is on. The world is watching and waiting for their own President: their American president. And that president will be no other than…

Hey Cynara,
 
Read poetry and have concluded that it is a sea of words:  too much to swim in: too many currents and the undertow is a killer.  One would need a big boat to navigate through these treacherous waters.  The dinghy and makeshift paddles that I possess prove inadequate; so I drift, heading no where: directionless…loss.  Only to hope that a savior, a wordsmith would throw in a ring of interpretation to save me…to save you. 
 
 
sos
 
So the question remains,
What are you trying to say.
Surely kissing isn’t so complex.
Shouldn’t it be memorable,
passionate, hot, soft.  Shouldn’t one feel it immediate.  Shouldn’t there be an impression?
 
Kissing should involve moist lips, meeting of tongues, dancing, extending, saliva…intimacy
then wap!  a kiss should either explode or evaporate.
 
However, your kiss, your poetry extended, and went on for miles.  It became an arduous journey.  It made my mouth heavy and tender.
 
I assume that this is a performance type poem.  Subsequently, my opinion of such would change if I actually heard the poem.  Performance poems tend to be only received well to the listening ear, but to read it, usually one must be already familiar with the poem. But even performance poems must capture the readers attention.  Your lure, did not allure me at all.  The stanzas ricocheted against each other.  Sadly your poem did not make the impact it should have.
 
I searched for a rhythmic beat with the verse, however, I found none.  To me it was a string of words and phrases.  No complete thought.  I am eager to know where you were heading.  Which story were you telling.  Which journey you were taking me on.  I felt as if I were on one of them track roads out Adelade in an old car without shocks.  I did not enjoy the ride.
 
Then there was the “boom da da…”  a beat, a pulse…life?
However, I did not experience it.  You must write simpler.
Write to be understood.  There is no need to exercise your vocabulary or have an onslaughter of continuous phrases.
Express yourself clearly, convey a concise message.  let the reader feel and experience the kiss.

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From: chanxye@hotmail.com
To: canewry@hotmail.com
Subject: Hey Poetry for Review/editting
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:31:29 -0500

Hi Cecil,
 
I hope you are well.
 
I was wondering how all is going with you and if you ever have the time to review any of my poetry. I did another recently and tried a different style. I am attaching it. Please let me know what you think.
 
 
 
Kiss You by Chaile Divine copyright 2008
 

 
 
Thats it.
 
Sincerely,
Cynara

I know we don’t have real money like that other developing nation called China for a massive opening ceremony, but we all know Bahamians does like and specialize in pomp and pageantry. Now when the FNM government came into power, they cancelled CARIFESTA 2008, in order for we to properly show of we things, build some buildings and paint some buildings. They say, this ga be the ‘OLYMPICS of the Caribbean’, their words. This event was going to be so grand that the Bahamas will need more hotel rooms, the airport suppose to be expanded, the Fish Fry suppose to improved with state of the art buildings and lightening etc. In truth, it was said, everything we have existing right now was too small and too umm, trifflin to host such a grand event. Well, two years later, and nothing yet. Hopefully, Atlantis will save us. Thank G_d for that company. Now they know how to put on a show. We ga dazzle our Caribbean bruddas with Atlantis. But that aint what I talking about anyways. When we ga start building these things the FNM promised us, which the PLP them neglected to sort out. When China got word they hosting the OLYMPICS, they started building immediately. The word was out. The knew they must perform, shine. And shine they did. But we last minute, culturally inept people, we wait and wait, and Carifesta coming to experience the same thing, the government them claim we need to improve upon. I aint asking for much, I just want be a part of a grand opening ceremony just like China’s.